When Raji showed this video to her mom, she said she felt like it was the first time she’d revealed the ‘weird’ side of herself to someone other than me (and your Auntie Shantha.) And somehow, I find that difficult to believe. It seems impossible to me that Raji’s mother–or anyone else who’s ever met your Raji Aunty–wasn’t already entirely in the know about her weird side.

And by weird, what I mean is that she’s an artist; someone who sees possibility in everything, potential in the mundane, ordinary objects waiting to take the shape of something beautiful.

I mean, a dreamer. A person who is never satisfied to stand still, always looking for ways to spin the world into a different shape.

And I do mean, weird. Weird in the way that every conversation takes an unexpected twist. Every thought she has comes from a totally other dimension that she’s the only one to have ever visited. I mean that hanging out for the night can mean anything from painting nude models with chocolate to sitting in the cafe/store around the corner, brainstorming about ideas until we cry laughing amidst a selection of very non-emotional, too cool media types going about their day.

These are just a handful of the many many things I love about Raji and also, I guess, the things that make her weird.

We met at The Spoke Club–a private media and arts club downtown that had a great bunch of members and a rooftop patio to die for. For a while, it was my home away from home and I worked and partied there in equal parts. Raji was the Cultural Curator for the club and I came on board to work on some special social media projects. It was great fun and it was great work: a rare combination–though one I’ve been fortunate to experience quite often.

Two summers ago, on our way up to a friend’s cottage, Raji mentioned to your dad in casual conversation that she owned a Vespa PX125, a model born in the early 80s…1982 to be exact. It also happened to be the dream scooter of your dad’s mod-immersed youth. And the best part: it didn’t run. So, Mark–itching for a project, specifically to build/rebuild/repair/spend time with a vehicle of this design–volunteered (in the form of begging) to bring this old girl back to life. Raji accepted with the stipulation that it be match fit for TIFF, happening three months later.

Watching Mark work devoutly and soulfully on this beast, day in and day out while I basked in the hot summer sun was an incredible experience for both of us. It seemed that basically everything that could go wrong in a Vespa of this age, had gone wrong: it was perfect. In three months your dad repaired the gearbox, replaced the electrics, installed a new exhaust, replaced the starter, fixed the signals, the kickstarter and a million little things that had him singing for an entire summer and part of the fall. In the end she ran perfectly, despite the fact that Raji hadn’t anticipated that the ’82 was a big lug of a scoot. That is to say, not entirely the type of Vespa you zip elegantly over to the film festival in wearing heels and couture. Nevertheless, it was an awesome thing and it sealed the friendship of your aunty and your dad.

One day a few months ago Raji shut up shop and decided to move back to her family home in Vernon, BC. Now, from what I hear of Vernon, it’s small town glory at it’s finest. The type of place that everyone who was raised there can’t wait to leave–until the day when they miss its comfort and return to the town for a respite, finding its arms wide open to receive them.

Adding to this romantic scene, Raji’s family are orchardists–meaning that they run and cultivate a large farm filled with apple trees.

So a free spirited Raji went home to her loving, if strict, Punjabi family to regroup; to insert fresh energy into her fashion label Aujla; and to gather some perspective allowing for the conceptualization of the next steps for this larger than life human.

Your Aunty’s video lesson pays a tongue in cheek tribute to her cultural heritage and shares the biggest lesson you’ll ever learn: How to live a good and fruitful life, by being true to your deepest self. It sounds easy, but figuring out who you really are and what you really want are a lifelong exploration. And when you do finally begin to figure out what your dreams are you have to summon the strength of self to grab onto them and not let go. Just like your Aunty Raji.

Stephen is your grandpa/my dad’s first cousin. He lives in LA with his gorgeous and cool architect wife Juliet, and his kitty Spice Boy (not to be confused with David Beckham.) The youngest son of my lovely great Auntie Cecily, Stephen is considered by many of the members of your mommy’s side of the fam to be an extraordinary intellect and have a thing for a good watch.

Recently, I learned that Stephen mooned your granny once from a passing car (apparently as a sign of great affection and respect.) He was also photographed in the front row of the ‘kids’ photo at my brother’s wedding. Whether this information is for public consumption or not, it really gives one a glimpse of Stephen’s personality. Young for life, an avid reader, major art historian, collector, and enthusiast, a SERIOUS cat lover (fixated on bringing your fur-sister Belly back home with him during his most recent visit–until realizing just how much she sheds), and an accomplished accountant (the youngest ever to qualify for this accreditation in South Africa, he still holds this distinction): Your third cousin Stephen is truly a wild and interesting guy to be around.

It might interest you to know that I’ve always considered Stephen something of a kindred spirit. Perhaps, the predecessor for your mommy’s eccentric personality. He sort of paved the way, if you will, for the more interesting and ‘out there’ descendants of the Selbo clan. Plus, he supports your dad’s football team–Charlton Athletic.

As a recognized timepiece afficionado, it seemed only fitting to ask Stephen to give you the low down on what to look for when buying a great watch. While he misheard the request and promised you an education in whiskey, it all came right in the end.

Note: Be sure to ask to see his watch collection when we visit the West Side Clan when you’re a little bit older…

PS. That typo on ‘America’ in the video is due to my eyes being all blurry from early onset spring allergies. I’ll just leave it as an indication of eccentricity…

“Leora’s coming” would generate a ripple of excitement for my brother and I when we were young and our Granny Jean would share the news. We were obsessed with our Boston cousins when we were little (particularly me) and as Leora was the oldest of the three girls she was the most revered.

The daughter of our beloved Uncle Ronnie from America (we were living in South Africa at the time and, believe it or not, had another Uncle Ronnie living in Johannesberg), Leora to me was the coolest person in town. She sent little cards in the mail with stickers on them (“Lonelle is so cute and small, here is a little note for her”) that my mother kept in a photo album and let me see through the plastic.

When we moved to Toronto, it was even more apparent how cool Leora was. She had by then made the move to New York and was working as an agent in the movie business. One time, she took us to the mall and didn’t even bother doing up the laces on her boots; she was so laissez faire about everything. Brett and I were astonished and a bit ashamed of our zipped up coats and velcro’d snowboots. Those were obviously the pre-mom years since I’ve noted that her girls are very well turned out–I bet their shoes are triple-tied.

The first time I went to visit Leora in New York when I was 18 she let me (content blocked for confidentiality), we went to get our hair blown out and ate blueberries and yogurt for breakfast every day. I went home lbs lighter and sans a Jewish fro. It was a revelation and an impressive one: I was always more put together after that.

Years later, I went again and found myself sitting on the penthouse balcony of a highrise on the Upper East Side in the wee hours, my feet hanging off the edge over the roof looking out at the city. It was a beautiful scene, the view imprinted on my heart, it cemented the love I have for New York.

This past summer, when I was pregnant with you, she told me not to worry. She told me the words to say to guide you into the world and how incredible you were going to be when you got here. I knew she was right then, but now I really know. You are more incredible than she could even describe and I wouldn’t have known how to understand it then if she could.

Leora loves you little guy. She is special like you’re special. A golden child of her mom and dad just like you’re a golden child to us.

She wanted to teach you how to love your family, but I told her it wouldn’t be tangible in a video, plus I plan to give you that lesson in real life–but if you want to learn it again from Leora, you’re welcome to ask if you can go visit her in New York when you’re old enough and then you can see it in action.

In the meantime, you should trust Leora’s instincts on how to make the best damn ice cream sundae in Manhattan.

Daniel is a New Yorker, born and bred. He’s also our cousin–by marriage–to the shining light that is our beautiful Leora, and dad to the lovely, bright, and vivacious next gen of cousins, Natasha and Mikayla.

We first met about 15 or 20 years ago when Daniel and Leora were both agents at ICM (or was it William Morris?) I guess there must have been a romantic connection, but I didn’t really know anything about it until a few years later when I went to New York to stay with Leora and realized that Daniel was around a bit too often to be just a friend. One morning, he made us insanely good omelettes for brunch it was quickly obvious that he was a keeper.

And he could match Leora’s brand of cool with quick wit and a series of ready jokes.

* You should note that Daniel’s not really the type of guy who aims to put you at ease–he’s actually more the guy who keeps you on your toes and is spontaneous and fun to be around

As I said before, Daniel and his family are properly from the city. His gorgeous parents, Julia and Jerry and sister Louise (who used to be and maybe still is an auditor of big rap stars…) are totally brilliant and amazing people to be around. They exude that real New Yorkiness that few can honestly claim in a city that’s poured into by masses of people around the globe trying to ‘make it there’.

I suddenly realize Sebastian, that your mommy is not the type of person who asks what you’re working on when she hasn’t seen you in ages and, I guess, your cousin Daniel is not the guy who volunteers updates, however–I do know a few cool things about Daniel’s career that stand out in my mind and have reached me through the family gossip mill. Daniel was the executive producer on the hit heist film “Inside Man” starring Denzel Washington, Clive Owen and Jodie Foster and directed by Spike Lee; as well as“Righteous Kill” with Robert De Niro and Al Pacino (which is super cool if you know anything about the great actors of the past generation or two…or three.) I also know he produced Novocaine with Steve Martin (in case you grow up to be a fan of his particular brand of humour–see: The Jerk.) And now he’s working on some branded online shorts that I think you’re also going to like–stuff your mommy thinks is really cool and the storytelling of the future. Oh, and he also has TV show coming out this year on Bravo called “Odd Mom Out.” I think we’d better make a note to catch that one.

Since Leora taught me how to tell a cab driver where you want to go so it seems like you’re from New York (ex. 51st Street between 7th and 8th), it’s only fitting that Daniel teaches you the proper way to hail a taxi!

But, the most important thing you need to know about your cousin Daniel though, is that he’s a good guy and he likes you a lot. At your cousin Natasha’s bat mitzvah this past weekend, you reached out to him and wanted to be held–something you reserve for only your really favourite people. And he was so focused on you and so excited to hold you that he tipped his whole glass of whisky on the floor without even realizing it.

That’s love.

I love my friends; this video lesson just exemplifies the talent powerhouse in my friendship circle.

Aside from her good eye and manifold talents: Hilary is seriously one of the most amazing people I know–possibly of all time.

She’s beautiful and super smart, funny and cool (in a dorky way, but that’s cool right now)–but most importantly, She. Totally. Gets. It.

Together, we’ve been the sophisticated city savvy women out on the town–and we’ve also been those dumb girls who find each other so insanely funny that we’ve gone into uncontrollable fits in public (at the office, in fact) and had to go to the bathroom to laugh it out because we were so unbearable to everyone around us.

   Hil was working with me at Portland Stewart when I  became pregnant with you, Sebastian. Before that, we used to go out  and have FUN. Afterwards, we stayed in and had fun, mostly  laughing at how things had changed. When I felt a bit preggo-  nauseated at the office, she went out and bought me 12 different  types of candy before we realized that the sour ones actually really  helped (tip for pregs). The real truth about Hilary however, is that  it’s not only talent, looks and humour that make you a truly great  person, like Hil, those people are kind and generous, totally  thoughtful about other people. Sensitivity and empathy are deep  attributes, especially in a man, and I will be incredibly proud of you  if you learn that lesson.

Oh, and remember that Hil got you that little chicken towel that you love. You know, the one that makes bathtime not-so-bad. It used to be so huge and snuggly when you were born and now you’re so huge that it barely covers your bum, but we love it so much we can’t bear (bare) to stop using it.

And don’t forget your friend John. He’s super cool, though we’re not as close as Hil and I–but he has told me that he wants a thousand kids, I know he likes to party, he loves his family, and he’s a well-travelled advertising exec. And believe it: those attributes exactly make up the guy who knows how to make–and consume–a good cocktail.

Hil and John have been the first to break ground on teaching you something that’s actually illegal for you to do right now. And thank God: I’ve been asking for something risque and hopefully this is just scratching the surface. You see, babe, I want you to be well-rounded and enjoy the fullness of the experience of growing up. Of course, I don’t want you to be in trouble with the law (that’s so not worth doing), but I want you to be adventurous and try all the good things this life has to offer.

Plus, your Grandpa Michael has always told me that bourbon is a gentleman’s drink, so this is basically sanctioned drinking. Remember, be responsible. Close your eyes and sip deep my darling.

Finally, Hil will always be your friend, but if it doesn’t work out between her and John, she might be a good potential future wife for you, my darling. And if it does, I’d still advise you to get in good with John for some tips.

Little Aleeya is one of the reasons you’re here, Sebastian. Without many close friends with children, we didn’t actually know what kids were really about. And when we crossed paths with kids in public, their parents always seemed to be juggling them, they had lots of snot running down their faces, and they always seemed to want something. “Mommy can I have this cereal?”, “Dad, I wanna go to Wally World” etc. So as you can imagine–your father and I were undecided fora long time. Then we met Aleeya. She had the sweetest little voice and was exceedingly polite and generous.

When she was five, we sat in the garden and coloured for ages. She asked me “Is that your dad in the kitchen with my dad?” It wasn’t. It was YOUR dad, but we were having such a good time I felt like I was little again and she did too; it was like we were friends and not a grown-up hanging out with a kid.

   A year later, she was at our wedding in Tuscany.  There were only about 35 people there and she was  the only kid, but she was so lovely and happy. She  picked wildflowers and danced around the castle.  We had an amazing time. I wish you were there  Sebastian–we’ll have to take you someday.

Aleeya is in French Immersion. That means that  her school not only gives her French language  classes, but they talk to her in French all day long. This is a huge benefit to people in Canada and possibly beyond–we’re not sure. We’re haven’t decided if you’ll go to French immersion yet, but either way we’ll definitely make sure you have the opportunity to learn a lot of French while you’re little and sucking everything in like a beautiful, brilliant little sponge.

But for now, here’s your friend Aleeya to teach you how to sing the alphabet en francais, as they say.

Amber and I are old girls. That is to say, former Trafalgarites. While we both went to Traf at the same time, Amber was in a younger grade so we didn’t officially meet until a few years ago when she decided to have a ‘big couture blow out moving sale’ and I convinced your dad it was worth the drive to Whitby.

It was worth the drive, I can honestly say that Mark and I hadn’t laughed that hard in yonks. We sat in Amber and Jonathan’s old living room, surrounded by Mogwai and Gizmo (their adorable Yorkies) and actually just laughed so hard our stomach’s hurt while Amber regaled us with stories about how she’d met Jonathan’s family in England–trying to make a good impression by dressing in head-to-toe Burberry (I’m still torn about whether this is never/always a good idea…particularly when among the English) and how confused they were upon meeting her.

Amber is particularly gregarious, while Jonathan is demure and witty. They play off each other well and every occasion with these two is destined to be fun and way, way over the top.

When they moved to Toronto, there  was more opportunity to hang out  and–between drinking bottles of  champers at the Spoke Club, bowling  in their downtown LV building, St.  Lawrence Market shopping, and great  laughs in our garden–what started as  a shopping trip became a real  friendship.

Last night you laughed so hard when  Amber came over. She made these  awesome faces and laughed this crazy  high pitched laugh that had you in  stitches. It was also the first day you  learned how to clap. Amber insisted  that you would and that you were the  smartest and best baby of all time and  you proved her right. She and Jonathan also brought you an incredible present–your own star. Forever this star will be named Sebastian DHD and the coordinates are here for you when you are ready to look for it in the night sky.

Star Name: The Little Zulu

Coordinates: (RA) 8h 57m 24.1s | (DEC) +6° 53′ 46.0″

…Or you could just follow the directions in the video <3

Andrea is second year pre-med now, but I first met her when she was about your age. In fact, I used to babysit her. No kidding. SHE’S LEARNING HOW TO PERFORM SURGERY AND I USED TO CHANGE HER DIAPERS. This makes your mommy feel really old, Sebastian.

However, it’s also really interesting to think that I learned how to change nappies 20 years ago and haven’t changed one since then until you came along. I think that’s more than enough nappies for one person if you ask me and looking back, I have a few great stories about Andrea.

The first is that I taught her art. We’d sit together when she was little and needed some extra help in art classes and we talked about how to really see things. Not just put pen to paper, but see and then translate that into your hand and onto the page. It was a beautiful experience and some of the work she did was phenomenal. I was proud of her constantly and she was the most amazing pupil. Later, when she was applying for med school we worked together again. Proofing essays, discussing principles of logic. We’ve had some meaningful chats over the years, Andrea and I.

Another was when she was even littler. About two and a  half or three, I think. Warrick, her brother was younger  still, just a babe, and it was my job to take them to the  park. I got Warrick ready first and put him in the stroller,  which I hooked securely onto the garage door handle  inside the garage to keep it from rolling or moving. Then I  tied (the dog) Sammy’s leash to the handle of the stroller  and went back to put Andrea’s shoes on at the top of the  stairs inside the garage. Without me realizing, Andrea  pushed the button to open the garage and I glanced up to see the door slowly raising. Warrick’s stroller was about a foot off the ground already and he was leaning over the side looking down at poor Sammy who was starting to stand on his hind legs and then tip toes as the leash pulled him up, up, up….

Of course, your mommy gathered her wits and everything was fine, but let’s just say we went to the park in a bit of a sweat.

Despite this incident, today Andrea is beautiful, successful, and partnered up with Dan: an awesome guy who will hopefully someday practice medicine alongside her. And because it’s every mommy’s dream for their child to become a doctor, here are Andrea and Dan to show you one of the things you might learn in medical school: How to test your knee reflex.

Cj and I met just last year. He had recently been assigned as the new associate editor at the magazine and I was desperate for him to be really good at his job. It was April of 2014 and four months before your birthday, Sebastian.

And somehow, I had to put out issue 7.

Having never had a baby before, but plenty experience at a magazine, I figured the best way to ensure that this would be possible was by leveraging the talents of my team, so I was really hoping that the new associate editor–a role I rely upon heavily even in normal circumstances–would be up to the job.

Upon first meeting, Cj seemed really promising. He was well-spoken and unconventional, his ideas were courageous and exciting and, perhaps most convincingly, he had a tattoo of Hemingway on his left forearm. I suspected I could teach him some stuff and perhaps he’d teach me a thing or two as well.

It was a hell of a ride. Having a baby, Sebastian, is no joke. It’s not easy to work simultaneously at a job where people are relying on you and there are real deadlines in place, because a BABY is also relying on you and he needs you around the clock. His deadlines are RT.

And at the end of the day, I love my work, but you are my life. You came first every time.

So thank god for Cj. He really pulled it together with little instruction and a lot of faith. And it wasn’t all bad–we met one night at my place to work on ‘Tech’ and it was an amazing sesh. We ate pizza and jam-wrote the whole section in a series of back and forth debates, storytelling and over much laughter. It’s lovely to write alongside a keen mind–particularly one that aligns well with your own.

   The success of Issue 7 has been  phenomenal. I guess we must have  done something right because the  accolades are flying and Cj’s come  back for issue 8. My hopes are a lot  higher going into this project. Though  you’re bigger now, you still need a lot  of attention–possibly even more–but  we’ve done it once. We know what to  expect, though are far from expert.

Like Hemingway, Cj is something of  a renaissance man, though I’ve always  secretly believed that any great person  must be a master of all trades–  particularly in this era. And he’s beat your Auntie Hill to teaching you your first guitar chords. Learn well, my darling. This is a skill that will feed your soul and give voice to your heart.

I’ve had a lot of sisters in my life: great friends who were everything to me, women that I could talk to about anything, girls I did everything with but live under the same roof. But thanks to my mom, for whom two were plenty, I never had an honest-to-goodness real life sister.

Until now.

While Yael and I are not related by blood–she’s your Uncle Brett’s wife and the mother of my one and only niece and I love her like she was my actual real life sister. In reality, she and I couldn’t be more different. She’s far less obnoxious than me, for example. Reasonably reserved and a little shy, Yael is sweet where I’m boisterous, demure where I’m outspoken. And yet somehow we click.

The other day when we were driving somewhere to do something, one of us said something and the other answered back and we laughed so hard we cried (exact circumstances and jokes redacted for top secrecy of sister time). That’s happened at least four other times with Yael and I can count the times in my life that I’ve laughed that hard on both hands.

   And when was the last time you called someone just to ‘talk’?  Well, it doesn’t happen very often to me, but Yael is so easy to talk  to, I just call her for a mood boost and to shoot the breeze. Some  people are just amazing to be around and she has that magical  chemistry.

Once when you were even littler than you are today–in fact only  weeks after you were born–you had terrible colic and cried all day  and night. Exhausted, Mark and I went to lie down for an hour  while Granny and Grandpa took care of you. Yael was there and  instinctively lay down next to you and sang a few songs. By all  reports, you stopped crying and were such a happy baby for the  entire time we were gone.

Your Auntie Yael is a special and incredibly generous person. She’s always listening for hints of things that might make you happy. If in conversation, I mentioned something I loved that I could no longer find anywhere…Yael would manage to track down a bunch and give me a bunch for my birthday/ anniversary/ christmukkah present.

Note: the greatest gift Sebastian, is to give to others and take joy in the act of giving–that’s a quality in your Auntie that would be wise to emulate.

Because we live so close to our family, you can benefit from all of of their special skills–and in Yael’s case, you have especially scored in the math department–an area in which your mommy is not very naturally gifted. PLUS since Yael is a teacher, she can show you all the tips and tricks for getting it right. So, to start–your first lesson is a very clever and secret trick for learning your nine times table.

May you be especially gifted in the universal language of math, my darling.

Sebastian and I actually met Erika together at our Lullabies and Lap-rhymes class: she was your first teacher. It was also the first time we’d ventured out alone into the outside world together and we were a bit nervous about it, but anxiety aside, one Tuesday at about 12pm, we packed up 20 nappies (because you never know, I certainly didn’t) and several changes of clothes along with all the other accoutrements, and set out into the crisp sunshine (for it was still warm in mid-September this year.) I hoped the neighbours wouldn’t think I was torturing you because of all the crying. You weren’t convinced about this whole stroller thing at first, but once we’d set out on the road, the flash of leaves above and rhythmic hum of the wheels on the sidewalk lulled you into comfort and, eventually, sleep.

 The girls in class were very kind–particularly Erika herself,  who told  us not to worry when you were too hot and needed  to be stripped down and rocked off to the  side while she  taught us ‘Budino on the boil’ and other very practical  rhymes.

I think you loved the walking rhymes the most. Whenever    circumstance required that I give 100% was aces in your  books. “From Weebleton to Wobbleton is 15 miles” Erika  taught us. And, it was also true that from Wobbleton to  Weebleton was 15 miles as well. We also pretended I was a  horse and sang “Ride, Horsey ride” and clucked our tongues  to make riding sounds. I really enjoyed the one that  went “1,2,3,4,5 my little baby pie; ABCDEFG won’t you come  and ‘x’ with me”. ‘X’ always stood for poop in my mind as that  was really what you were mostly doing in those days, but for some of the others, x stood for smile, roll over, sit, burp and other fun baby things–many of which were a bit beyond you at 2 months old.

You liked Erika from the very start–you used to watch her through every lesson–and when we saw her the other day at Mabel’s Fables she sang “Hello Sebastian and how are you?” You flashed her a humongous smile and promptly fell asleep. Look at you, flirting with the teacher! I wonder if that means we passed the class?

I’m so excited to write this entry. Hilleroo and I met for the first time at 7 West. A sort of hippie-type all-night bring-your-own-vegan 20-page-menu sort of joint just south of Bloor. Hill reached out to me because we had a friend in common, were both involved in the arts, and *most importantly, the reason it’s always okay to reach out to a total stranger* we are both ‘old girls’ of Trafalgar Castle, the private all-girl high school we attended in very different eras.

Off the top of my head, I’d estimate that Hill graduated a  full decade after I did, but it only took one meeting for us  to that we were kindred spirits. Interestingly, Hill isn’t  really like me in a lot of ways. First of all, she’s far more  earthy and out there in her life views. In general, I tend to  prefer the facts and let the romance bloom from that, but  our relationship was only a few dates on when Hill  brought me to The Rock Shop in the annex (where we  talked about crystals and bought matching hematite  rings). While I work primarily behind the scenes, Hill is  an extraordinarily talented artist–she’s been on tour and  in the studio with some of Toronto’s most beloved artists

(The Weeknd, Serena Ryder, etc) and her own band (Hill & The Sky Heroes) is totally awesome. Their sophomore release is one of those albums Mark and I put on repeat one summer and let simmer.

Over the past few years, we’ve read runes together, worked on her official bio, and smudged the dining room for bad juju. At the 11.11.11 release party for her album, she sang happy birthday to your dad in front of a huge crowd and had a birthday cake brought in from god-knows-where accompanied by a tuba player, honking away.

So now this insanely good artist who has mastered just  about every instrument–both ‘on’ and backstage–is  giving you your first lesson in how to play piano. If you  end up being a famous musician, my darling, remember  that it was this girl’s ambition, talent, and vibrant spirit  that sparked your gift.

Thanks Hillster.

I haven’t actually known Ariel that long. In fact, it hasn’t even been a whole year since she was born, but she’s already one of the shining lights in my life. The first born child of my favourite brother and awesome sister-in-law, Ariel (born a full two and a half months ahead of you, Sebastian) is the beloved first baby of the new generation of our family.

Thank goodness she was born first. For a few reasons really. First, it gave your dad and I a chance to focus on the little person that she was. To get to know her before we were blinded by exhaustion or gobsmacked by new-parent love. Secondly, we had a chance to practice on her. When your Uncle Brett and Aunt Yael were so tired they were about to fall onto their faces, we came over for a few hours and rocked her when she cried, changed a diaper or two, gazed into her eyes and told her we loved her and she was the most perfect baby we knew. And because of her ‘help’, we were less terrified about your arrival–and that’s Ariel, she makes everything look easy.

As you can see from this and every other video, photo, or  encounter–she’s a real showman. If she’s not beaming  from ear to ear, exclaiming “WOW” at everything (we  recently went to buy her some clothes and every item  brought out elicited this outburst), she’s performing some  adorable act, effortlessly shining. I’m smitten. I’ve been  smitten from day one. I think we all were.

From the day she was born she’s been ahead of the game;  ahead of all her peers in the art of rolling over, crawling,  sitting, standing, cutting teeth….and soon walking. It all  happened so quickly. And every time you guys are  together, you learn how to do something new from your big cousin and come away a better, wiser baby.

One day the age between you will seem so small that this time in your lives will be unimaginable. Perhaps by then you’ll be best friends, almost siblings. I hope that you will always look up to your cousin Ariel and she will look up to you too; that you’ll trust each other and grow up as lovely and spectacular as you both are right now.

The exact circumstances of the first meeting between Candace and I totally escape me. My memory is terrible at the best of times and, now that I get to party all night with you, Sebastian, my glorious little non-sleeper, we shall probably look back on these as ‘the happy-foggy years’.

Maybe Candace remembers, so we’ll ask her someday–but introductions aside, Candace and I have known each other for many years now and funny thing: this is actually our 4th go round of friendship.

The first time we were friends was in early high school when we both attended O’Neill Collegiate. I lived a city away and only went to this school because I auditioned for and earned a place in the Performing Arts program, but few if any of my friends were in the program too. In fact, at that time, most of the people I hung out with were skateboarders and punks.

Candace was neither. She was actually sort of preppy and extraordinarily beautiful. She didn’t seem to dwell on it, however, and so it never gave her the complexities normally attributed to high school girls who are constantly reminded about how pretty they are.

I remember being surprised the first time I went over to her house. Her mother was also very beautiful, but in a completely different way from Candace–indeed, they looked nothing alike. It appears that the generational trend has continued: Candace’s five year-old daughter Grace is also a beauty and yet wholly unlike her mother in feature.

 The second iteration of our friendship was at Trafalgar. In grade 12 I  decided to call it a day at O’Neill and finish my secondary schooling at a  private all-girl school in Whitby. A few months later Candace and Tina  followed suit, donning penny loafers and the signature blue quilt that ran  much higher up the knee than the prescribed length. I can’t be certain if  it was my description of life at boarding school that won them over–so  enamouring my friends that they decided to join me in its hallowed halls- -or if there were other factors, but I was more than pleased to have them  there and, even though neither of them stayed on longer than a year (I  think Tina’s ‘Pepto Bismol Arm’ was the final straw), we had good  times and more than our share of stories.

It was many years later that Candace and I reunited again. We were in our mid-20s and we found ourselves at a party together. I was dating someone (not your dad) who was friends with the guy she was with at the time (not Gracie/Dawson’s dad). We spent the night catching up and giggling about how things had changed, but it wasn’t an era of social media and we didn’t manage to keep in touch beyond then.

We were brought together again, several years later, through the miracle of Facebook. Though several more years passed before we found some really common ground: our babies. And that’s how Candace ended up at my house a few weeks ago.

You and Dawson are almost the exact same age, Sebastian. And when you’re older you’ll have known him since, like, forever.

Though not forever, we’ve been friends for a loooong time, and I’m banking that the 4th go around for Candace and I is the one that sticks. F is for friendship, Candace. FFFFFFfffffffffffriendship. Love you.

PS. NNnnnnnnnnairplane.

Pammy and I go way back, but we came together in the weirdest way. We met at a Procter & Gamble popup salon: I needed my roots done and was walking over to Mark’s old office at Yonge and Bloor, when I found myself outside a salon that had sprung up overnight and was giving hair colour as a promotion. I’ve always had trouble resisting a crazy deal (and maybe I was feeling more adventurous than usual) so I stepped inside the salon in desperate need (these were the days before ombre was a thing) and met my hair’s saviour: Pam.

About an hour later I walked out as the best blonde I had ever been (sorry all, it wasn’t my natural Swede shining through) and I knew I had to see Pam again and again. Later, when I called by again to connect with her, the receptionist told me my new top fave hair stylist had left the popup gig to go on tour with The Jackson Five (not including Michael) and that her thriving music career would now be taking precedent over her massive gifts in the hair department. I was crushed, however, after a lot of canoodling, I shmoozed the girl into passing on Pam’s email address. HA: Mommy wins every time.

Over the next several years, we laughed and cried together and told each other our secrets over hair dye experiments, logo development, hair extensions and countless other convos accompanied by tea and snacks. And for those many years, I managed to maintain my gorgeous blonde hair followed by a lovely, demure, more mommy-like shade of brown. I squeezed in appointments between recording and touring and then a wedding to her true love and the birth of a beautiful baby girl.

One time Pam brought Maddy over to hang out  while she did my hair. I remember that she spat up  on the floor and freaked me out. Now I am covered  in Sebastian’s spit up all day and it’s just normal, I  almost feel naked unless I’ve been barfed on at least  once.

Pam knew I would have you before I did. She saw  that sparkle in my eye and warned me about how  much I’d love you and how amazing it would  be. Now she gloats at every opportunity she gets  because you are my world, my life is forever changed  and I can’t deny that everything she said was true.

So when Pam tells you to eat your greens, my  darling, listen to what she says: she knows things.

As you might guess: Uncle Brett and I have been best friends since I was 2 and a half. Essentially, we’ve known each other since the day he was born.

Prior to that day, I believe I was a happy only child: living the good life, comfortably spoiled with doting parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. Then Mr. Brett decided to make an appearance on the scene. I pretty much liked him from the beginning (although he had this defence mechanism where he’d scream this seriously loud, high pitched scream if I was bugging him too much–it was like those crazy African bugs that screech when you get too close) and he had a bedraggled plush (and I use the term loosely) kitty that he used to drag around by its tail everywhere he went, which was seriously adorable.

   Over the years, we had lots of adventures together–the    kind I hope Sebastian will have with his cousin Ariel–and  though we’ve had our share of fights, we have always been  the firmest of allies, through thick and thin. This was true  even when he was bossing me around or acting like he  gave me half his sandwich and I owed him a favour.

 Sebastian. Please know that your uncle and I for many  years loved each other more than anything in the world  except for our mom and dad (your granny and grandpa).  Now Uncle Brett has his own family who he loves too, but  we still hold tight to each other when the world forces us  into “family mode”. Also remember that we also know  how to make the BEST TEA IN THE WORLD because  your granny and grandpa used to make us get them tea all  the time and we became top experts.

Most importantly, Sebastian, Uncle Brett is the person you should go to if you need to talk to a someone who’s not your dad, but who will really listen and really care. And if he doesn’t have the answer you need, he’ll find it for you. He loves you and will always protect you because he was your mommy’s protector once too.

It’s hard to capture the relationship Tina and I had in a few paragraphs. We met in high school and quickly became very close. Tina was worldly in a way few fifteen year olds are. She’d been to and returned from rehab, she was into Velvet Underground and Al Jolson and had a vinyl collection of everything inbetween, occupying 20 milk crates or more. And she had loads of bookshelves filled with journals and poetry that she regularly destroyed to make room for the new words buzzing around in her mind. I loved her and envied her ability to constantly recreate herself when I held so tightly to everything, afraid to lose any piece of me.

We hung out in her mom’s basement. We    were allowed to smoke and basically do what  we wanted and that’s exactly what we did.  Although, what we wanted was not to do  drugs and be high school assholes, but  instead, play music, read poetry, and paint  the walls. It was a beautiful time in my life  and I remember it all very warmly. It was a  time when I began to find myself and sowed  the seeds of who I am today. Tina was  instrumental in that.

Having overcome trials and numerous reiterations, Tina and I stayed friends. We don’t see each other that often and talk on the phone every few months (for hours though), but I know her and she knows me and we get each other. Perhaps her strongest gift has always been the ability to follow her heart. While others have made decisions that they’ve been compelled to stand by or afraid to turn their backs on, Tina has always remembered to move on, never get stuck, grow, reinvent: live. Sebastian, I’m thrilled for you to know that lesson and I count myself lucky to have had a friend like her in my life.

Tina had once compiled several mixtapes for her much younger half sister. The tracks covered the great music of all time and moved elegantly from genre to genre. I begged her to make one for you and (while the whole playlist is on my iTunes for you to listen to) here it is again, with select links.

1. Rock & Roll – Velvet Underground
2. Gold Soundz – Pavement
3. You and I – Wilco with Feist
4. Into the Mystic – Van Morrison
5. Keep on Pushing – The Impressions
6. Love Is a Losing Game – Amy Winehouse
7. Suburban War – Arcade Fire
8. 50 Ways – Telekinesis
9. Looking Through – Nada Surf
10. This Must Be the Place – Talking Heads
11. Don’t Do Me Like That – Tom Petty
12. Slow Motion – The Flaming Lips
13. Gone Daddy Gone – Violent Femmes
14. I Never Learn – Lykke Li
15. Revival – Deerhunter
16. Soul Love – David Bowie
17. Out of Reaches – Steve Malkmus
18. The Rules – Ben Kweller
19. Blue Moon – Beck
20. Your Heart Is An Empty Room – Death Cab for Cutie
21. Back In Your Head – Tegan and Sara
22. Certain People I Know – Morrisey
23. Simple Twist of Fate – Bob Dylan
24. Every Little Bit Hurts – Brenda Holloway
25. Freedom of ’76 – Ween
26. Which Way Your Heart Will Go – Mason Jennings
27. Disappearer – Sonic Youth
28. Hell is Around the Corner – Tricky
29. The Bad In Each Other – Feist
30. Break Me – Lemonheads
31. The Wagon – Dinosaur Jr.
32. Too Young – Pheonix
33. Mother of Pearl – Roxy Music
34. Into My Arms – Nick Cave
35. Vicious Traditions – The Veils
36. Follow Through – Hotel Lights
37. We All Lose One Another – Jason Collette
38. Saint Catherine St. – Sea Wolf
39. Don’t Worry Baby – The Beach Boys
40. You’re All I Need to Get By – Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell
41. Grace – Jeff Buckley
42. Several Shades of Why – J Mascis
43. Sweet Sweet – Smashing Pumpkins
44. Non- Believer – La Rocca
45. Mystify – INXS
46. Walk On By – Isaac Hayes
47. Weekend Wars – MGMT
48. First Day of My Life – Bright Eyes
49. Men In Black – Frank Black
50. Unsatisfied – The Replacements
51. Sorry Somehow – Husker Du
52. Cause = Time – Broken Social Scene
53. Eyes Off You – Bombay Bicycle Club
54. Boys Don’t Cry – Grant Lee Philips
55. From the Edge of the Deep Green Sea – The Cure
56. Love Will Tear Us Apart – Joy Division
57. Slow Show – The National
58. Place to Be – Nick Drake
59. Re: Stacks – Bon Iver
60. Away – Kathleen Edwards
61. Old Man – Neil Young
62. Home by Saturday – Hayden
63. Wise Up – Aimee Mann
64. Here Comes the Sun – The Beatles
65. Everlong – Foo Fighters
66. Cigarettes In A Theatre – Two Door Cinema Club
67. Wolf Like Me – TV on the Radio
68. Summertime Rolls – Jane’s Addiction
69. Into Dust – Mazzy Star
70. Pale Shelter – Tears For Fears
71. Playground Love – Air
72. Wild Horses – Rolling Stones
73. Heaven – Psychedelic Furs
74. This Charming Man – The Smiths
75. Alive and Kicking – Simple Minds
76. Bridge to Nowhere – Sam Roberts
77. Dead Sound – Ravonettes
78. What I’d Say – Ray Charles
79. Know that I Know – Devendra Banhart
80. Beat the Drum Slowly – Timber Timbre

Sierra is an awesome sport and an amazing human that I met relatively recently on this journey.

When I was pregnant with you I began to frequent Facebook’s “mommy groups”, which ranged from informative to eye-opening to downright deranged. I hadn’t quite realized what I was getting into until I joined these secret groups and first saw the very dark, frightening underbelly of mommyhood.

The only thing I had in common with many of these other mommies was that we had a baby due in July. That was it. And boy, let me tell you: there were entire galaxies between us. And then I met Sierra, who connected with me initially because my ‘last name’ on Facebook at the time was “Luxury-Yacht” and her father owned a yachting company. Oh the random and varying degrees of separation!

Beyond that, we were both writers and foremost–both awake at all hours of the night with our brand new bundles–aka. you, Sebastian, and little Mei.

Sierra was the first to get her video to me all the while apologizing profusely for the delay. And she’s an inspiration to me these first few months with her intense go-getterness. Since Mei was born, Sierra has kickstarted her career writing for many media outlets, she’s always out with her little darling at cultural events and parties–in fact, her pictorial travels on Facebook make Florida look awesome (we must go visit sometime).

Now, 7 months later, our little darlings aren’t so little anymore. We’re a bit more comfortable with you guys and you’re beginning to really experience the world around you. Neither of you are talking, but we sense that you’re getting ready. Maybe with a little help and know-how you’ll sign to me “I love you, mama”.

I’d really like that.

Christa and I met at the old Four Seasons tearoom…or was it the lobby at One King West? Obviously, my memory of the exact location is blurred, but I remember Christa vibrantly. The publishers of my magazine had asked her to come in for an interview. She had a degree in journalism and a history of working in unrelated jobs. She was from Florida, spoke fluent German, was into the culinary arts, and was at once shy and hot-headed, funny and sweet. She, Joe and I made an awesome team.

We spent countless days and nights debating the appropriate usage of commas and yelling at each other about word choice—over drinks and a helluva lot of laughs.
Christa was one of the first people I told that I was pregnant with you. I knew she’d forgive my former slam-talk about babies (pretend you didn’t hear this darling) and would understand that it was, in fact, an another example of the Lonelle Syndrome—that is, the tendency to say the first and most extreme thing that comes to mind in any given situation, despite (and perhaps because of) the complete inappropriateness of it. She totally got that this move was truly an awesome thing for your daddy and I.

So, here is your lesson from Christa. I should have expected her to do something food-related, but somehow, did NOT expect something as brutal as ‘butchering a whole chicken’.

I bloody love it. Thanks Chris. I can’t wait for   Sebastian to grow up and know you even better.

I know Joanne from high school and over the years we’ve stayed in touch through Facebook. She was part of the ‘Joanne, Joanne, Alex, and Amanda’ posse–they were all amazing and funny girls, awesome to hang out with.

It’s sort of weird thinking back to this time, because sometimes I still feel like a high schooler. Often, in fact. I notice it most when I hang out with people who have teenaged kids, as I gravitate towards their humour, language, goss. It’s true, I’m the first one to abandon the adult room, preferring to play video games, talk about skateboarding, or hot guys in teen movies.

And yet that was practically eons ago–I am a better teenager today than I was in high school and (hi reality) like it or not, we’re all growed up now. Joanne has a gorgeous 5-year old son called Jordan who helped her with this video. It was his choice to do “How to Run Really Fast” as the lesson for Sebastian.

I honestly can’t think of anything better. Given that he can’t even crawl yet (though Mark and I are really thrilled about the new all-fours humping motion he’s mastered), I think it will be one of the lessons Sebastian is most excited to learn.

It’s so incredible to have the next generation represented here so many years later. Thanks for being a part of Sebastian’s community guys!

PS. Here is a bonus video starring Jordan singing the theme song of the boys’ fave show

“How to Sing Paw Patrol”